


bloom

by closingdoors



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, First Time, Vanity Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 23:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16229096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors
Summary: Charity and Vanessa's first night together. For Vanity Fest.





	bloom

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song by Troye Sivan.

Distantly, Vanessa wonders who'll cover Charity at the bar.

Charity is tactile without being suffocating. A hand in hers leading her up the stairs to an unfamiliar room. A ghost of a kiss against her jaw as she guides her inside. There's a dark flash in her eyes when she closes the door. Vanessa almost expects her to back her up against it, but Charity keeps her distance. She's not sure whether she's relieved or not. 

Something heady hangs in the air. It makes her feel vulnerable, malleable, and she almost shies against the feeling, ready to bolt. Charity watches her and Vanessa's never been so sure in her life that another person knows exactly what she's thinking.

"Hey," Charity reaches out, the pads of her fingers gentle against the back of Vanessa's hand. It's a simple touch and yet her body reacts like she's been set aflame. "You want out at any point, you just say the word, yeah?" 

Gossip about Charity Dingle has always spread like wildfire through the village. Even before Charity messed with her dad, Vanessa has been well aware of her reputation. It's why they've never crossed paths before this; she's had no reason to, but plenty of reason to stay away. Logic dictates that she stick to staying away. That Charity is all sharp wit and clever body and painfully antagonistic. That she'll rip Vanessa apart without remorse. Yet right now she's faced with this  _-_ attentiveness, gentleness. 

Charity must read the surprise on her face.

"I mean it," she murmurs, with such sincerity Vanessa can't stop herself from drifting towards her. Charity rests a hand against her hip. Even through the layers of clothing, Vanessa is hyperaware of her touch. "You just say the word."

"Okay," Vanessa finds herself saying.

The kiss this time is a little bit lazy. Vanessa hears her bodywarmer fall to the ground. Charity steps up into her space, close enough for their chests to brush, and Vanessa can't hold back the sharp intake of breath at the feeling. She kisses Charity back firmly after, her hands cupping the woman's jaw, entranced by the sharp edges of the woman who's creating a simmering warmth in the pit of her stomach. They only separate when Charity pulls Vanessa's jumper up and over her head. Vanessa doesn't have a chance to see where Charity discards it before she's on her again, mouth trailing down the line of her neck. 

Vanessa hums at the feeling and Charity's grip on her becomes a little tighter. Vanessa's eyes flutter closed. She needs the darkness, the absence of sight, of what's happening here and who she's doing it with. She wants to remember the touch, the way it feels, and why it feels better than any way she's been touched before. 

Charity frees her of her vest top next. There's no time for thought. Vanessa feels their actions through the touch of Charity's body against her own. Charity's moving her backwards, until her knees hit the edge of the bed. The mattress is soft and dips beneath her weight when she lays down. Charity stretches out on top of her languidly. Vanessa clutches at her elbows when she feels the scrape of teeth against her collarbone. Then lower, against the swell of her breast. She holds her breath.

The thing is - it feels so easy.

She knows what Charity's about to do before she does it. Anticipates the hands that creep along her side. Lifts up so that Charity can unhook her bra. Welcomes the feeling of her tongue against her skin. It's simple, when she finds herself pulling at Charity's clothes too. She  _wants_ this. Wants to feel the way Charity makes her feel. Wants to know how Charity feels. She slides her hands along the plane of Charity's stomach and takes note of the way her muscles twitch beneath her touch. And it should all feel different, and unfamiliar, and new. And it does, but not in a bad way. When their naked bodies brush together, she feels a rush of anticipation for what's to come. 

"Okay?" Charity asks, a little muffled against her lips. 

Vanessa can't summon the strength to pull away long enough to speak. She nods. Charity's fingers dance down the back of Vanessa's thigh, tickling the sensitive skin, before hooking it over her hip. There's a hand between her legs and then she  _does_ pull away, long enough to gasp, to clutch at Charity's shoulders.

The rhythm Charity sets is easy to follow. She thinks she should be suspicious of how fluidly this is flowing, yet she's barely capable of thought. Not when Charity's lips drift down her chest, lazily dragging against her sternum. Not when she touches her like that. 

Vanessa grips at any part of Charity she can find purchase on. Her soft waist. The curve of her hip. The back of her thigh. Features familiar and unfamiliar. Charity lets out a sound that's almost desperate against her throat. 

"Please," Vanessa gets out. She's not sure what she's asking for.

"Open your eyes."

Vanessa keeps them firmly closed. Sensation overload. Yet it's not  _enough_ \- her hips twist, seek, but Charity's holding back.

"Look at me, Vanessa."

She does.

Charity's eyes are dark with something Vanessa immediately identifies as possessiveness. It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. 

Vanessa chants a litany of Charity's name when she finally  _gives._ And then it washes over her like waves. Intense and almost overwhelming at first. She clutches at Charity and she clutches back. The waves slow and her touch softens. Vanessa loses track of time until she feels Charity dust a kiss against her temple.

None of this makes any sense. They're not supposed to care about each other. This isn't even supposed to be happening. Charity is supposed to be demanding, and greedy, and selfish. Yet she slips Vanessa's thigh off of her hip and settles down beside her, simply watching her. There's nothing expectant in the way she looks at her. Naked as the day she was born, and she doesn't seem to expect a thing in return.

Charity tugs the sheets over them. It feels ridiculous. It's the middle of the afternoon. But in the aftermath, she does feel a little bit dopey. 

It almost feels simple. Laying in bed with Charity like this. Just watching each other.

"I'm sorry. About before," Charity says. She reaches out and tucks a stray strand of hair behind Vanessa's ear. "The jab about your dad. I didn't mean it." 

Vanessa smiles wryly. "So you're saying I'm not a better kisser?"

Charity's face brightens with delight. "Look at that, she does have a sense of humour."

"Oh, give over," Vanessa rolls her eyes, but he can't get rid of the smile plastered on her face.

"Here I thought mucking out cows every day had ruined your people skills."

"Veterinary work isn't all mess, you know."

Charity wrinkles her nose. "Pretty sure it is, babe."

Vanessa pretends to be offended. Charity presses her grin against Vanessa's cheek, softening it into a kiss. She ropes an arm around Vanessa's waist and tugs her closer, making her squirm until Vanessa's act quickly morphs into smiles once more. 

There's no words then. Truthfully, Vanessa's waiting for Charity to kick her out. Yet she rests her head on the pillow by Vanessa's, her breathing coming in soft tufts against her temple, apparently in no mood to move or evict. Even closes her eyes despite the daylight pouring in through the windows. Vanessa watches this Charity, this version who isn't spiteful, or cruel, or vindictive. This version who holds her. 

Vanessa finds her hand trailing then. Tentative against the softness of Charity's breasts. She watches as her breathing stutters, her eyes fluttering back open. There's a nervousness she can't quite name rumbling in her chest. She's learning how to touch all over again, she supposes, and she's not sure when Charity will turn unkind again. When her understanding will morph into impatience. Her hand slips lower, down Charity's navel.

A hand around her wrist stops her before she can reach her goal. 

"You don't have to," Charity tells her softly.

Vanessa props herself up on one elbow. 

"I know."

When Charity doesn't release her hold, Vanessa sighs. "I  _want_ to." 

Charity nods and lets go. Vanessa's hand slips between her legs.

The reaction is instantaneous.

Charity's back arches. Vanessa finds herself captivated by the sight. Touching another has never felt so rewarding. The little pants Charity lets out only spur her on. 

It turns out that Charity's kindness lingers. She never becomes impatient. There's moments of guidance which are never condescending. Even as she seeks the same end, she's never rough. Vanessa almost wishes she would be. That would make putting this all behind her a hell of a lot easier. But it doesn't feel easy to forget the way Charity grips her, the way her hips move up to meet her, the way she sighs her name. It's all burning itself onto her memory now. 

After, Charity collapses against the mattress, gasping for air. Vanessa can't resist kissing her. It's messy and hot with Charity's breath but she still shivers as her tongue slicks against hers. A sound like laughter escapes her.

Vanessa curls up against Charity. Their skin sticks together with sweat. It should be uncomfortable, but she welcomes it. Charity runs her fingers through Vanessa's hair. 

"You're good, yeah?" 

Vanessa frowns into Charity's collarbone.  _This_ is good. It feels good, at least. But it's something temporary - and it's only serving to confuse her more. How could she not have realised she wanted this, after all this time? How many men has she gone through seeking this feeling, never realising she had been searching in the wrong place?

"Yeah," she lies eventually. "I'm good."

 

*

 

When she wakes, the room is dark and the bed is empty. As her eyes adjust to the night, she scans the floor for her jeans. She slips out from under the covers and roots through her pockets for her phone. There's a couple notifications, the only one she pays attention to is Rhona's messages with pictures of Johnny and Leo, but her eyes are drawn to the time. It's almost one in the morning.

Vanessa settles on the edge of the mattress with a sigh, pulling the sheets up to cover her body. This is always where it was going. She briefly wonders where Charity has gone to hide. In her own house. It's a cowardly act she hadn't considered the woman capable of. 

Just as Vanessa resigns herself to leaving, the door opens, and Charity slips back into the room, tying the knot of her robe.

"Hey," she greets her in a whisper, "you're awake."

"Where were you?"

It's more accusatory than she intends. Vanessa winces at the harsh tone in her own voice. Charity quirks an eyebrow.

"Little girl's room."

"I didn't know."

"Didn't realise I needed your permission."

"That's not - "

"You know what, just... leave it," Charity almost sighs. 

Vanessa watches her cross the room and climb back under the covers. Vanessa feels oddly vulnerable. 

"Is that really what you think of me?" Charity asks her. In the dark, her voice is strangely quiet. Small. 

"I'm sorry," Vanessa offers, only half-meaning it, because confusion grips her more than she cares to admit.

Charity scoffs. "Don't be. Bet that pretty little head of yours is filled with all sorts of rumours about me."

Vanessa doesn't know what to say to that. She stays sitting on the edge of the mattress, watching Charity over her shoulder. 

"Are you staying, or what?"

Charity's voice is sharp now. Vanessa bristles. Yet she places her phone on the bedside table anyway, settling back under the covers once more. Charity doesn't reach for her. Vanessa doesn't drift towards her. She's not even sure why she's staying. She just... does.

"They're not all true, you know." 

Vanessa turns to face Charity. "What?"

"The rumours. Some of it, yeah. But not all of it."

Vanessa feels a little bit of resentment chip away. 

"I'm sorry," she tells her, meaning it this time. 

Charity seeks her out after that. The kiss this time is fierce. Her grip is almost bruising. Vanessa struggles to keep up. Charity's kissing her like she's got something to prove. Even as her head spins, Vanessa welcomes it. Because  _this_ is how she had expected it. Rough, and fast, and a little bit uncaring. This is how it's supposed to go. How she'll be able to leave and not look back in the morning.

Charity's nails dig into the small of her back. Her teeth dig into the flesh of her shoulder. She doesn't soothe the sting. Vanessa gasps, feeling drunk from her touch, as their legs twist and Charity pushes her flat. The way she rises above her in the dark - she almost looks dangerous. 

Except. There's a moment. It passes so quickly she could tell herself that she's imagined it, but she knows she hasn't. A moment where there's just a flash of vulnerability in Charity's eyes.

In the morning, she leaves with marks and aches in satisfying places, but it's that moment she thinks of most.


End file.
